"We are learning"

It has been forever since I have taken the time to sit down and write.  It has taken me this long to let my brain wind down.  It is amazing how fast our brains are operating even when we try and put the brakes on.  The thing that amazes me is that I find time to do so many things that create joy for me.  On the days that feel like I am looking towards an infinity of tasks full of dread, I don't have enough time.  When a day arrives that I want to get things done that I enjoy, time is created.  Perhaps, our clocks are there as reminders that there really is little time to be had, but we have to find time for our happiness and joy. 

Spare time in my schedule is spent coaching a high school cheerleading team.  After cheering throughout the last half of high school and all through college, I couldn't give it up.  The skills I learned from cheerleading have molded me into the woman I am today.  Young women often lack confidence.  Cheerleaders sometimes cheer to crowds of five people and still have to keep their "cool" and yell as loud as they can.  Once, I was shouting at the crowd in front of me, only to have the stands go silent just long enough for my voice to crack.  The group of women in front of me so kindly laughed and pointed at me.  I was mortified...for 30 seconds.  I quickly realized that this was a section finals game and if those women weren't planning on standing up and yelling, I was going to cheer for them as loud as I could regardless.  Friendships are often more complicated for young women... or let's face it... for women in general.  It was comforting knowing that I have a whole lot of loud mouths that were on my "team" and were willing to shout at me if I ever felt like falling down or breaking down.  Anyways, long story short- I have been working on character development with my cheerleaders.  It took me a long time to figure out that if your character is developed and big enough, no amount of discouragement can defeat you.  Yes, I remind myself daily of that because there are going to be people that doubt, but that reminder makes my heart feel good, and by golly I like it! 

The one thing I am constantly reminding the girls, my students, and myself for that matter is that "we are learning."  Why do we break ourselves down?  Why do we raise children to look first at what they are doing wrong?  Why can't we focus on our strengths and then the areas of improvement.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I believe in competitiveness and I don't think everyone should get a trophy for everything.  I believe that we should be teaching our children that humans unintentionally fail sometimes and that it hurts, but also that it provides an opportunity for redemption.  I often get the response of "well they aren't learning fast enough!" from some of my cheerleaders.  Ha, yes sometimes it seems like growth takes a long time.  Sometimes it seems like it is getting worse, but there is so much good in our world and we continually focus on the bad or weak areas.  I prefer to smile.  I prefer to take a day off to center myself and give myself a day to "process" than to work, work, work until my head feels muddled and frustrated.  I prefer to vent quickly and then laugh at the ridiculousness that we call "life."  

I am going to be the hero of this story, whether my own mind things so or not.  This is my story.  You are writing your story.  We are all on different paths.  My goal for this week is not to be judging others for the decisions or choices they make, but rather to consider why they chose those routes.  I have a lot to learn.  I am learning.  Our world is a beautiful place.  The people around us (even the person eating cheese puffs in the cubicle next to you who is chewing so loudly you considered pushing the wall down) have traits that we can learn from, quirks that can make us smile, and experiences that we can reflect and grow from. 

This ship will not sink.  Regardless of my decisions I have made in my past, I am hoping that I can grow from each of those decisions.  I hope that my experiences and my character can help guide my students and cheerleaders in a good direction where they know that whatever they do, they are creating opportunities.  Moments to be proud and continue in a direction of good, or moments of redemption.  After all, at points of questionable judgement I thought I was on top of the world, having fun, and making choices I wanted.  I directed my own history and it is worth something.  Besides, at some point we all need a few stories to look back on and think "wow...could I have had better judgement?"  Ha!  All of those are memories of love, lost love, friendships grown, friendships lost, laughter, tears,   forward and backwards.  

So, remember- we are learning.  Each and everyone one of us are coming from a past of decisions and headed in the direction of our dreams.  We aren't there yet, and young or old we have to make the decision to keep learning from the good rather than focusing on the misstep.  Life is all about the dance right?  My dance happens to be an Irish jig-polka-macarena-acrobatic-rave type dance that sometimes makes me sick to my stomach, makes my head hurt, and makes me laugh at myself very loudly.  Good thing we've already discussed my love of laughter.


I'll write again sooner than later.
Me.