Just about the same time that I started my blog, I signed up to follow the blog of Gretchen Rubin. I have been attempting to expose myself to any sort of inspiration that could allow me to better understand or learn about myself. Gretchen Rubin is the author of Happier at Home and she has created her career through her blog called "The Happiness Project." Fitting, huh? I plan on buying the book. On her blog, you can sign up to not only follow, but also get a daily happiness reminder. I am going to include a few of the reminders that I have received this week.
What an interesting thought. We all have those so called "skeletons" in our closet. Ironically, what I hide fits so well into this so-called journey of mine. The one thing I most often try to hide is the fact that I may be unhappy. Why is that? I am stumped as to why exactly I hide when I am unhappy, but I have a few theories.
Theory #1: I hope that if I forget that I am unhappy, I will fall into happiness. My issue with this theory is that unhappiness is also part of being human. In order to understand my happiest emotions, I need to have felt my worst, most heart-breaking, sad moments. What is so wrong with having a sad day?!
Theory #2: I don't like feeling unhappy moments because I reflect on my emotions far too often. Every moment that has made me cry, broke my heart, or hurt my feelings replays in my head. These short-films documenting my sadness are triggered by songs, phrases, movies, places, smells, and photos. Perhaps by discounting my sadness, my brain will forget to hit "record."
Theory #3: Number 2 leads me to my last theory. I have a fear of having my feelings discounted or hurt worse by someone else. One of my biggest pet-peeves is having someone tell me that it's not that bad or that I am thinking about it too much. I know I am thinking about it too much! That is probably why I would even consider spewing my feelings to you! Hurting someone's feelings is something that breaks my heart. I know that I have done it before and honestly, those are moments I replay over and over again in my head as well. My hope is that by showing kindness now, my heart will forgive me and draw me towards people who show the same kindness.
Those three theories should not be viewed as excuses. One more pet-peeve of mine. Just because I am full of wonderment and questions and ideas and theories does not mean that I am full of excuses. If I could get my brain to slow down, I would turn down the switch. However, I was granted this gift of constant reflection. I am going to take it and use it to ensure that I make the best decisions for me and mine and to ensure that I am also continuing to grow, learn, and be better.
Gretchen's next tip was to pay attention to any "tells." For those of you with poker knowledge you know what that means. Any hidden give aways that your self might be telling yourself. Her tip was to look for those personal tells in regards to levels of anxiety and stress. On days that I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed, but I don't really know, I generally eat. By eat, I mean that I take the phrase "eating your feelings" to a WHOLE new level. I also need extra sleep. I nap. I nap multiple times. I hit the snooze button. I turn off my alarm all together. I hug a lot. I need a lot of hugs. I will hug people around me or touch their arms or back because for some reason, my body craves even the slightest human recognition. I cry when I watch TV shows that shouldn't illicit tears. I for some reason am taken over by every emotion. If something is happy, I cry tears of happiness. If something is inspiring, I bawl like a baby. If something is sad... oh god, come back in an hour. I get stomach aches that could make a grown man cry. I listen to my music WAY too loud. Oh, and I sing...WAY too loud- Sorry to anyone whose ears bleed because of the last "tell."
On a side note, I also paid attention to Hailey's (my chocolate lab, currently going through her terrible-twos) "tells." This week she destroyed two pairs of my shoes, only to proceed to puke on the couch. Good thing I shop at k-mart and pay less, Hailey. Even though I was mourning the loss of two pairs of work shows, she got me to "like" her again. Today- during my funk and watching the super sad movie "Extemely Loud and Incredibly Close" I cried (personal tell). Hailey came over and licked my face, wiping off every tear. Dogs are so special...and at times little terrors to the shoe stash & young-adult budget.
If we pay attention to everything that our bodies tell us, we would probably be very surprised. Those two tips from Gretchen go so well together. We try to hide things without even noticing, then our body has secret tells that try to get our attention so that we can manage ourselves. I need to give myself a break and be more understanding and receptive to all emotions. Although it may seem that sometimes we do exactly what our mind or heart DON'T need, it may not be the case. As it turns out, our physical self and mental self are on the same team after all. Today, I am grateful for that.
Thanks for reading...here's to happiness & reading our own body language!
me.
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